What is "Hold the Line" about? Methinks the "Love isn't always on time" line in the chorus is metaphor for some manner of sexual dysfunction, and I wouldn't put it past a band who wrote an entire song about their collective hard-on for Rosanna Arquette. While we're on the subject, could Blondie's "Hanging on the Telephone" allude to a similar problem? The original "Hanging" is by L.A. power-pop obscurities The Nerves, and Jack Lee's lyrics are gender-neutral. Whatever gender you choose to associate the song with, someone's hella horny. Or perhaps it's just about a telephone call. Oh, shit... I'll get back to you when I examine the lyrics of ELO's "Telephone Line" and New Edition's "Mr. Telephone Man."

Here's a question! What are your favorite telephone-related pop songs? E-mail me with your lists and I'll post 'em here.