Now, I'm no Sandra Lee or anything, but I know how to pull off a SEMI-HOMEMADE recipe. Like tonight, when I conscripted a pedestrian store-bought barbecue sauce and sent it off to boot camp in southeast Asia. A little raw garlic (about three cloves, chopped coarsely), a tablespoon of chili sauce, a PROFUSE amount of rice wine vinegar, a tablespoon of granulated sugar (I like the sugar made from evaporated cane juice, but I'm weird), a quarter teaspoon of ground red pepper, half a teaspoon of cinnamon to bring the sweetness back around. Fabulous; the kind of sauce you abandon the rest of the meal for so you can eat it on its own.

(PS- After years of being unsure or feeling too guilty to admit as much, I can now say without reluctance that I DISLIKE "SMOKY" FLAVORS. Lapsang Souchong tea, smoked mozzarella, "smoky" Kansas City style barbecue sauce. This is not to say that I hate all smoked foods; smoked meats when done right are a wonderful, wonderful thing. Liquid smoke and other weird flavor enhancers probably have a lot to do with my dislike, but I'm no expert on that stuff so I can't say for sure. Maybe I'm just eating the wrong products.)