Happy Saturday. I've eaten nothing, done nothing, gone nowhere, and spent the last, oh, six hours nipping and tucking away at this style sheet and fooling around in PhotoStudio. You fuckers better appreciate this!

Ah yes... latest peeve: that Zach person. Who is he? How many times did he have to sleep with Janeane Garofalo to get his own show? How many Tom Green joke-writers did he have to bribe to get material for his monologues? And for all his yabber about his "family" being a "freakshow" (or vice-versa -- I forget), what's so oddville about trading dick humor with Carmen Electra and Tommy Lee? Bill's right; bring back the old music variety-show format. Don Kirschner's Rock Concert. The Midnight Special. Like that.