This is where I went to high school. But like Lemmy Kilmister before me, I don't wanna live forever, and even though (unlike R. Kelly) I don't believe I can fly, I'm not sure I wanna learn how to. That said, I do wanna make it to heaven, and when I get there, I sure hope I get a hug.

(Fun fact: Sarah Michelle Gellar was at LaGuardia at the same time as me. She eventually transferred to the ultra-highfalutin Professional Children's School -- a nose-in-the-air trust-fund stage-kid private skool -- this is the REAL underbelly of NYC adolescence, the same type of environment that bred Julian Casablancas.)