April 11, 2004

Ladies and gentlemen, the early 21st century distilled to its essence:

Exhibit A: Highbrow hookers invade the Craigslist slackerdrome one resume-enhancing business euphemism at a time: Selective companionship service interviewing attractive, intelligent ladies over age 18 to service professional clientele primarily in Manhattan locale.

Exhibit B: Dunkin' Donuts' Dunkaccino (if the descriptor "hot winter beverage" isn't repulsively twee enough, the very name of the product seems focus-groupped to the kind of hell I imagine is populated by aging elementary-ed types and their emasculated husbands: "Dunk" has a ring of aggressive, fiercely American gorging-myself-is-my-inalienable-right-so-fuck-you self-indulgence with a reverberation of secret shame, and the "ccino" suffix joins the "tini" suffix in the glossary of "marketing terms for people who are desperate to feel grownup and classy when all they really want is an adult-acceptable varation on the chocolate milk and fruit punch they mainlined as a kid").